Mankind leads every other species in terms of crimes against humanity.

Suck it, every other species.

A recent study revealed that mankind has beaten every other species on the planet in terms of crimes against humanity.

The detailed study goes in depth to define what exactly qualifies as a crime against humanity and from our understanding, shark attacks, and cheetah maulings do not come close to our levels of self-inflicted decimation.

Mankind leads the way when it comes to war-crimes, deportations and genocides. Every other species need to step up their game. It’s an absolutely disappointing showing from the likes of presumed heavy hitters like crocodiles and snakes, especially considering the fact that those two reptiles in particular serve no purpose other than to murder us. Humans have way more to do in life. We have to form meaningful connections with other humans; we have to create and participate in systems; we have to create more humans to carry on our existence; and we need to nurture those humans. Despite all this, we have found the time to blow every other species out of the race. It’s quite the achievement but maybe it shouldn’t have been quite so easy.

What are you doing, snakes? Your only job is to destroy us and you can’t just systematically wipe us out, like we do? Get your head in the game. Also how do your heads work, you’re just tails with a face. Use your bodies to form perimeters around us and then send in your smaller, less visible forces. You have the means and the time!

C’mon crocodiles. Whether we’re on water or we’re on land, you can still get to us! So why haven’t you?

Sharks, we’ve made movies about you. Many movies. Jaws, Deep Blue Sea, Jaws 2, The Shallows, Sharknado, Jaws 3D, Ghost Shark, Jaws: The Revenge. As murder-machines, we hold you in the highest of esteem. I understand you have a certain disadvantage seeing as we can hide above the sea, so I’ll let you off for now. But with the polar icecaps melting, sea-levels rising, and our cities soon to be submerged, that excuse will not last long.

Finally, sheep. You could hide weapons of mass destruction in your thick, voluminous wool. But during every shearing. Each and every single time, without fail, we find nothing. Are you simply biding your time? I sincerely hope so.

In the meantime however, to every other species; “Suck It”.  There is nothing that you can do to us that we are not already doing to ourselves.

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