Woman Suspiciously Pauses Before Saying Last Word in….Sentence.

An Eastern European woman with a large scar across her face and a winged-bullet tattooed on her forearm has just aroused suspicion by pausing before completing her sentence.

Speaking to a high-ranking politician, the woman seemed jovial and in good spirits as she wished him the best of luck in his hopefully not too short life, warned him of dangers that may seem imminent, told him to keep his family close to him, and asked him the value of his internal organs.

This pleasant line of questioning and well-wishing ended when she said, “It looks like we are having good….weather,” which naturally immediately raised alarm bells. Witnesses clocked the pause between her penultimate and final word at three point five whole seconds. “She really seemed like a nice lady at first,” said one witness. “She even moved her coat to show him this large hunting knife that belonged to her uncle. It’s always nice to show off family heirlooms. But then she started talking about the weather. And she paused. The pause, it was just so long, only someone with malicious intent would pause that long. I wish there was a better way to tell whether someone is up to something.”

The woman has been identified as a spy named Elena Siminovic. When reached for comment, she said, “I was sincerely talking about the weather. English is my sixth language, I was looking for the right word. Yes, I am a spy. Yes, I did have intent to gut the man where he stood and use his intestines as a rope to escape out of the window. Yes, I did threaten the lives of his children. But I meant nothing with that pause.”

Spies are known for their deception, and it appears Elena is determined to go down with the lie that she was not outed by that three point five second interval.