Local man clearly should have located black market(?) before pulling out own kidney

A local man was left red-faced, one kidneyed and possibly on death’s door when he removed his own kidney before finding a buyer.

There’s a classic saying about counting your chickens before they hatch. That is; don’t do that. This stems from a common mishap wherein foolhardy farmers would overestimate their egg to chick survival rates, only to later have to report a lower number of chicks, thus opening themselves up to mockery from other farmers.

Much like the farmer, a local man got ahead of himself when it came to illegal organ transplants. The young man who refused to give us a name – though he was perfectly willing to give away an organ – stated that he knew kidneys were in high demand but was afraid of the extraction process. He proceeded to explain that he felt that if he cleared this massive hurdle, then the rest would fall into place quite nicely.

Though he was unasked, he did go on to say that he picked his left kidney instead of his right as he was right-handed, seemingly under the impression that this somehow had an impact on the effectiveness of internal organs.

What followed of course was a matter of who the buyer would be.

When first brought up, he casually referred to the ‘black market’, quite unaware that it was not a geographical location.

When reached for comment the man shrieked in agony while clutching his side with both hands, even his weaker left. For the most part whatever he shouted was unintelligible but we did gather that he refused medical attention in case they wanted to stop his transaction.