Public Holiday Declared in Wake of City’s Imminent Hosting of King Kong – Godzilla Fight.

“Maybe kids shouldn’t be going to school while all this is going on,” said one prominent government official while gesturing at the gargantuan gorilla headbutting the atomic bomb-infused lizard.

Godzilla versus King Kong! The event that people who don’t live in densely populated cities have been waiting for since they last wreaked havoc. Get your hard-hats on, and be aware of falling debris and stray beams of atomic energy! The latest installment of the catastrophe inducing battle royale between giants is upon us. Quite literally.

As we watch these god-like creatures scuffle yet again, it is important to get our houses in order and then stay inside them. To prepare for the city’s hosting of the big fight, a public holiday has been declared. Children will not be required to attend school and workers can and should stay home. If your home happens to be in or near a skyscraper, it would be best for the holiday to be elsewhere.

The Federal Bureau of Formerly Unlikely Events has issued a set of reminders as we approach another few days of mass destruction followed by visits from leaders wearing sad faces.

1. Remember that you are not the main character of the big monster fight. No. You will not be of any use to either Godzilla or King Kong. If you attempt to help either of them, they will step on you. Will they feel remorse over it? No, they won’t even know it happened. We are merely peasants watching two kings squabble.

2. Though a public holiday has been declared, this does not mean you may enjoy yourself. Do not think of it as a ‘holiday’ as such. Have an emergency evacuation plan prepared in case King Kong decides to use your building as a weapon.

3. If you are fortunate enough to survive, you may be selected to stand besides your local district representative and look solemn for the cameras. This should be easy considering the devastation that has just unfolded in your home. However if this is difficult to express, you can sign up for an acting class. If you are selected then you get another day off!

If you can, enjoy yourselves on your day off but firmly within the confines of your homes and adhering to the guidelines stated above. Essentially, like the pandemic but with big monsters.