A ground-breaking, very real, and not at all made up new study from one of those prestigious universities has found a method to make people eat up whatever old nonsense you feed them. Just begin with a simple and easy to remember phrase. Studies find.
The phrase in itself carries authority. It does all the heavy lifting in your lie. What you were going to say is now legitimate. Because people have studied it. And they have found whatever you said. They agree with you. Or you agree with them. Does not matter one iota. It is now fact. Even if it is not actually.
What is the legitimacy of these studies? Who carried them out? What was their purpose? Did you just make this whole thing up? These are all questions that no one has ever asked. As you inform whoever it is about the existence of little microbes that eat sweat, you may rest assured that your poorly concocted fib will be believed.
97.83% of test subjects reported to fall for scams as long as there was a certain amount of scientific words thrown in. It is important to use words that sound science-y even if they don’t make a lick of sense. Some prime examples include – multitude, sample, survey, exponential, latitude, dispensable, behavioural. Also, throw in a couple of percentages like 97.83%. People eat up percentages.
One subject even believed that the Moon was personally angry at him. At first, he scoffed and called his examiners ‘dumb’ and ‘silly,’ but when he was told that it was a study that had found the Moon to be angry at him, he immediately purchased an underground bunker to hide in at night.
With this information, humanity may go forward with confidence in their own bullshit. Unless of course, the study itself…. which happened to have found….
No. Studies found that this is true.
The Ipe Collection 