“He’s just a silly spandex boy doing silly things,” said your bitter grandfather as he sat firmly planted in his armchair. He’s been there for hours. Is it a choice or our of necessity? If this was Spider-Man, that would not be a question. If he was the one sitting down we would know he was choosing to sit. With your granddad, it’s anybody’s guess.
The difference between your grandfather and spider-man is that the latter has two functioning knees. Also, honour or whatever. One could argue that the desirable knees are fictional. It is a lot easier to be impressive when you are entirely made up. I too could have the power to stick to walls if an all-powerful creator decided that I was able to do that. Though that may be a semi-credible point against the imaginary web-slinger, it does not change the fact that your grandfather has cast the first stone.
So, as you watch the four hundredth promotional teaser for the latest movie involving Spider-Man, – a character who you and every sane human being adores – do not be annoyed when your grandad rolls his eyes and calls it garbage. He is simply astounded by how often Tom Holland’s knees bend. In his mind, he is probably recalling a time where he could perform astonishing gymnastic feats. Those times are not real, but it doesn’t hurt to lie to yourself a little about a bygone era that cannot immediately be disproved.
The Ipe Collection 