Dog Under a Lot of Pressure to Provide Joy in Family’s Life.

A local Labrador named Dixie has expressed her sheer panic at being the sole source of happiness in her miserable family’s life. The family – whose name was withheld by the canine – appear to be a mix of morose and needy individuals, making Dixie’s task of enriching their lives both necessary and difficult. As …

Update: Norway is still where we last saw it

You can all breathe a sigh of relief. Your fears have been allayed. The Scandinavian nation of Norway is still where last left it. There have been no changes made whatsoever. Everything is normal. Please find below, photographic evidence of the country’s whereabouts. Norway is, without question, here. Exactly. Though….was it always shaped exactly like …

Upstaged

An artist's (Karishma Ipe's) illustration of the man in question. Thirteen years. Thirteen years I’ve been breaking my back. Kid comes in, somehow takes a week. Impossible. He’s such a rookie, he hasn’t even developed a crippling caffeine addiction yet. There’s absolutely no way he’s cracked this case. I need to think this through from …

NOW & FOREVER, I AM YOUR KING

This isn’t right. What do I even say? I remember when my father passed, the General said something along the lines of, ‘All things must end’. I can’t say that. For one thing, my father didn’t take the entire Kingdom to his grave. That ‘All things’ was only ever meant to encompass the one life …

Couple in action movie starting to realize they have nothing in common other than shared experience of surviving Nazi-Zombie-Robot attack.

Jack Manly and Beth Bruiser have each come to the heartbreaking realization that they have absolutely nothing keeping them in a committed relationship. That is, other than their survival of an assault by the unholy creations of Jack’s arch-nemesis and possible brother; Lord Arnheim ‘Destruction’ Maximillian. A year had passed since the couple’s filmed foray …

This will change the way you watch “The Lord of the Rings”

A Blindfold A demonstration The Lord of the Rings trilogy is an epic masterpiece in every sense of the word. It exists in the early 2000s, just before every big blockbuster required a 3D theatrical release to go along with a 2D screening. But instead of experiencing the film with an extra dimension, why not …

Woman Suspiciously Pauses Before Saying Last Word in….Sentence.

An Eastern European woman with a large scar across her face and a winged-bullet tattooed on her forearm has just aroused suspicion by pausing before completing her sentence. Speaking to a high-ranking politician, the woman seemed jovial and in good spirits as she wished him the best of luck in his hopefully not too short …

Detective unsure whether blood stains on victim’s sheets look like a butterfly or two people kissing.

The blood-blot test A police detective investigating a homicide is currently in two minds regarding what image the blood stains on the victim’s sheets resemble. At first he saw a butterfly. According to some psychologists, this would indicate that he is in touch with nature and is also quite sensitive. The detective in question disagreed …

How to tell your wife that you’ve traded your fifth-born child for a chance to compete in a three-legged race with a skater called Jert.

A recurring issue that faces free-thinking individuals is that their decisions will constantly invite backlash. No two people, no matter how alike they are, or whether or not they have declared each other ‘soul-mates’ will agree on every single matter. Especially if one of them has dreams that go beyond the norm. Who among us …

Iran changes name back to Persia to confuse American intelligence

“Whoa! Where did Iran go?” That was the cry from top American officials. With the looming threat of yet another endless war and/or semi-sanctioned invasion of the region, it is natural for all participants to look to seek a less nuclear option in order to sneak their way to an upper-hand. And it appears that …