Just checked to be sure Okay let's calm down here. Slow your roll. I googled "financial advice please help no money" in search for legitimate assistance. Not to be mocked by some hoity-toity, privileged website author who bandies about words like "assets" and "portfolio". "Skip your Starbucks coffee today," they say. Okay, I've been doing …
Uh-oh, my new doctor has a LinkedIn Learning certificate framed in his office.
"I'm learning surgery on Skillshare too." Do they not have anything else to put up on their wall? Perhaps an actual medical degree? 'I'm self-taught,' is not what you want to hear your doctor say when you ask them where they learnt medicine. You also would not want them to launch into a passionate diatribe …
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Man bragging about playing shortest ever game of chess has yet to mention whether he won or not.
The shortest game of chess ever. A record has been made. Win or lose, one man has etched his name into the pantheons of history. An icon in his field. Forever to be known as one of the foremost players of the game. But did he actually win? He hasn't made it clear as yet. …
Totally Unrealistic: In 180 episodes of Seinfeld, George Costanza gets murdered 0 times.
Upon completing the 180th and final episode of Seinfeld, it has come to my attention that at no point did George Costanza get bludgeoned to death. A gross misstep on the showrunner’s part. I understand that there needs to be some degree to which we suspend our disbelief. But I already accepted that Kramer could …
Win every game of table tennis with these simple steps.
Physical Violence The result of every game of table tennis comes down to what’s going on in players' minds. Instill fear in your opponent’s mind by threatening to beat the shit out of them. The threat of physical violence puts you in a commanding position. Attempt to scare off your opponents as soon as the …
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5 ways to fight a cactus and win.
There is no foe more deadly than a cactus. Cacti? I, like many, on numerous occasions have come toe to toe with a cactus – or should I say, ‘toe to thick waxy skin’? No, that’s awful. I shouldn’t say that. Often, I have been handed a resounding defeat. For so long, it seemed impossible …
FIFA 22’s immersive new ‘Referee Mode’ allows you to take verbal abuse for 90 minutes.
Step into the boots of the dumbest bastard most respected man in sport; the referee. Finally, after two decades, the pinnacle of e-sport has been reached. Players will now be able to take control of the game. Properly. Armed with a whistle and backed up by a team of buffoons experts. Weird, hipster fans of …
Studies find your lies are more believable if they start with the words ‘studies find’.
A ground-breaking, very real, and not at all made up new study from one of those prestigious universities has found a method to make people eat up whatever old nonsense you feed them. Just begin with a simple and easy to remember phrase. Studies find. The phrase in itself carries authority. It does all the …
10 ways to defuse the tension after an alien just burst out of your colleague’s chest.
Is there a moment more relatable than when your colleague sprouts an alien out of their chest? Sitting at a dining table, taking in an anecdote about this or that, when suddenly they begin violently convulsing. You think to yourself, 'oh that's just Phil being Phil'. Then you hear a crack. Blood and viscera are …
Man who has not exercised in 56 years thinks Olympic athletes these days are weak.
He may not have exercised in 56 years but a man with seemingly no history of any athletic activity and who has never been involved in anything remotely competitive has offered a passionate criticism of Simone Biles following her decision to focus on her mental well-being. Fellow athletes have offered encouragement and praised her for …
