Rating snakes in terms of how much they look like a belt.

We've all had that same nightmare haven't we? Running late for work, grab what you think is a belt only for it to turn out to be a snake. It doesn't care that you've made an honest mistake. It attacks you like the vindictive, slithery thing that it is. We've all had that dream, right? …

Alarming number of people at magic show volunteering to be sawed in half.

"A-are you guys okay? I didn't actually say it was a trick." A man wearing a magician's hat, cape, and wand announced that he would be sawing a member of his audience in half. A clean split by the sounds of it. Bear in mind that he had not actually said he was a magician …

‘Stranger Things’ music director hard at work, googling ‘80’s music’.

If all else fails, in comes the synth. Another season of the hit Netflix show ‘Stranger Things’ is currently in production. Everyone is hard at work but no one more so than their music director. The show is known for its 80’s aesthetic. To be clear; the 1980’s. There is a certain arrogance among currently …

Passenger tells driver to head 2 miles ‘South’, like they’re Marco Polo or some shit.

‘Just say left or right like a normal person!’ Ancient travelers were able to use the placement of the stars in our skies to find their way around. You are never lost when you have a permanent map. All you had to do was look up. But they’re all dead, probably due to scurvy or …

Hide your general ineptitude by knowing how to play chess!

“I’m really only good at this one specific thing. What are the odds of it becoming relevant somehow?” Do your friends mistakenly believe you to be competent? It is probably because you play chess. Remember Ron Weasley? If you don’t, he was the hapless, feckless and freckled friend to the saviour of a fictional wizarding …

Gender Revealed, Five Dead

A gender reveal party has left five people dead and three more seriously injured. The party which was intended to surprise expectant parents with the knowledge of which set of stereotypes they would be enforcing on their unborn offspring, was to end with an explosive reveal. In this case, a pipe bomb was used. Yes, …

Obsessive detective hoarding newspaper clippings to pin on bulletin board is singlehandedly keeping print media alive.

The shift to digital media consumption has left it’s print counterpart on its final legs, to meet an end that has come far too early. A pre-emptive RIP to print media. Soon to be gone too soon. A lot like the victim of a homicide who one detective will stop at nothing to find justice …

Study finds most effective way of winning any debate is talking really loudly.

The next best ways were revealed to be feigning deafness, followed by flinging fecal matter, and finally; saying “I know you are but what am I?” repeatedly. A comprehensive study has found that the most effective way of winning any argument is to simply be louder than whoever it is with whom you are arguing. …

Is this a targeted ad or am I being bullied by the internet?

Yeah, I bet you like this stuff, you weirdo. There I was, perusing Instagram stories from my friends, observing their lives while on a snack break when I’m hit with this doozy of an ad. Adopt a landmine sniffing rat. So many questions. The first set of which were of the ‘what’ variety. What is …

Man wearing glasses thinks he’s sooo important, he needs to see clearly.

Is this the height of man's arrogance? We have found it. The very height of man’s arrogance. One moment he was squinting, the next he was conspicuously pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. He then excused himself, claiming he simply could not see clearly enough. Could not see clearly enough. As …