A ground-breaking, very real, and not at all made up new study from one of those prestigious universities has found a method to make people eat up whatever old nonsense you feed them. Just begin with a simple and easy to remember phrase. Studies find. The phrase in itself carries authority. It does all the …
Man who has not exercised in 56 years thinks Olympic athletes these days are weak.
He may not have exercised in 56 years but a man with seemingly no history of any athletic activity and who has never been involved in anything remotely competitive has offered a passionate criticism of Simone Biles following her decision to focus on her mental well-being. Fellow athletes have offered encouragement and praised her for …
Alarming number of people at magic show volunteering to be sawed in half.
"A-are you guys okay? I didn't actually say it was a trick." A man wearing a magician's hat, cape, and wand announced that he would be sawing a member of his audience in half. A clean split by the sounds of it. Bear in mind that he had not actually said he was a magician …
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Passenger tells driver to head 2 miles ‘South’, like they’re Marco Polo or some shit.
‘Just say left or right like a normal person!’ Ancient travelers were able to use the placement of the stars in our skies to find their way around. You are never lost when you have a permanent map. All you had to do was look up. But they’re all dead, probably due to scurvy or …
Gender Revealed, Five Dead
A gender reveal party has left five people dead and three more seriously injured. The party which was intended to surprise expectant parents with the knowledge of which set of stereotypes they would be enforcing on their unborn offspring, was to end with an explosive reveal. In this case, a pipe bomb was used. Yes, …
Obsessive detective hoarding newspaper clippings to pin on bulletin board is singlehandedly keeping print media alive.
The shift to digital media consumption has left it’s print counterpart on its final legs, to meet an end that has come far too early. A pre-emptive RIP to print media. Soon to be gone too soon. A lot like the victim of a homicide who one detective will stop at nothing to find justice …
Study finds most effective way of winning any debate is talking really loudly.
The next best ways were revealed to be feigning deafness, followed by flinging fecal matter, and finally; saying “I know you are but what am I?” repeatedly. A comprehensive study has found that the most effective way of winning any argument is to simply be louder than whoever it is with whom you are arguing. …
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Local man hopes Earth succumbs to global annihilation before he has to finally learn about Bitcoin or Blockchain or whatever.
“I would rather be scalded in the molten carcass of our civilization than watch another video explaining this nonsense ever again.” That was the sentiment expressed by a local fitness trainer and self-proclaimed ‘regular dude’. He had recently found himself in hot water over comments that were perceived by many to be in support of …
Public Holiday Declared in Wake of City’s Imminent Hosting of King Kong – Godzilla Fight.
"Maybe kids shouldn't be going to school while all this is going on," said one prominent government official while gesturing at the gargantuan gorilla headbutting the atomic bomb-infused lizard.Godzilla versus King Kong! The event that people who don't live in densely populated cities have been waiting for since they last wreaked havoc. Get your hard-hats …
Dog denied entry to The Good Place as his motivations were entirely treat-based.
After plenty of deliberation, it has been decided that an elderly, dutiful, canine companion will not be accepted into The Good Place. Given his seemingly trustworthy, kind and loyal demeanor it has surprised many to see him be rejected from an eternity of pampering.For those who are unaware, The Good Place is the afterlife for …
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The Ipe Collection 