The ghost of a deceased interior designer was left fuming when her ungrateful customers described her hard work as a ‘haunting’. Lucille Flemington of the Old Flemington House had passed away ten years ago while in the middle of a renovation. However, she was so dedicated to its completion that she returned as an astral …
HEARTWARMING: When this teacher lost everything, his students came together to agree to stop spray-painting the words “Old, Unlovable Shit” on his car.
Get ready to have tears jerked from your goddamn face. A high-school teacher named Mackenzie Donald had found himself in an extremely rough patch, having lost almost all his possessions due to a series of fairly shambolic investments. Though, who among us could have foreseen that a company selling necklaces of nail clippings would go …
Mankind leads every other species in terms of crimes against humanity.
Suck it, every other species. A recent study revealed that mankind has beaten every other species on the planet in terms of crimes against humanity. The detailed study goes in depth to define what exactly qualifies as a crime against humanity and from our understanding, shark attacks, and cheetah maulings do not come close to …
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Sam Elliott’s Moustache Emancipates Itself From His Face
In an unsurprising turn of events, actor – Sam Elliot, and his moustache have agreed to part ways. The moustache, who gained sentience in the year 1992, first made demands for freedom three weeks ago. Sam Elliott sans under-nose companion. Over the years connoisseurs in the world of facial hair styling have lauded Mr. Elliot’s …
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Man Claiming to be Only Competent Person in Workplace, Also Incompetent.
The one intelligent member of a workforce has just been revealed to be equally – if not more – unintelligent than his coworkers. Mr. Huffman, who is a former child prodigy and current moody alcoholic, has for long claimed to be the sole competent person in his entire office. For years he has bemoaned his …
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“Don’t Get Me Wrong,” Starts Man With Horrific Opinion.
A man in a restaurant has announced his intention to share an opinion that is sure to be appalling, by using the phrase “Don’t get me wrong”. His fellow diners had just begun a discussion regarding the suffering of certain groups of people who happen to not be present at the table. Given how he’s …
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Newly Divorced Man Bumming People Out
Thirteen people have been thoroughly depressed by a newly divorced man in the Towney area. The suspect has been identified as Lucas Chadwick and he is armed with a photograph of his attractive former spouse and a half-eaten cheesecake which he claims was the last meal they had shared together, policeman Roger Cavendish told reporters. …
INSPIRING: This cop now takes 5 minutes longer to give up on solving a Rubik’s Cube!
In an inspiring display, local cop Alfred Dunn took five minutes longer than usual to hurl his unsolved Rubik’s Cube at the furthest wall. It has now been 16 years since he was gifted the 3D puzzle from his currently incarcerated mother. Coming into the police department, where he is a high-ranking detective looking into …
The Ipe Collection 