Incredible! Lazy fool on verge of getting out of bed

How truly wonderful! A young man with no discernible maladies or ailments is about to end his nine-day streak of lying in bed with nothing to do. Or at least he’s trying to do so.

As he pushes his weight onto his palms to lift himself up just enough to stretch out his legs till they reach solid non-bed ground, he reminisces about the times where he didn’t make any such attempt. He’d lie down with nary a care in the world, all the while the world itself was fairly preoccupied.

Nevertheless, his immediate surroundings outside of his bed do present many opportunities. For instance, there is a bathroom. Showers. How wonderfully refreshing. A kitchen. Hopefully his extended stint away from that region has not brought forth a dilapidated inventory like say; solidified and chunky milk, mushy onions, blue chicken,  mysterious stray hairs on the floor, and so on in that vein. The very thought begins to weaken his resolve.

In fact, these are the same thoughts that had previously kept him where he lay. He’s left so much for later he may as well leave today as well. But today is different for some reason. Possibly due to a crick in the neck. Must have slept improperly. Truly shameful really. Sleeping is one of the easiest things in the world to do, behind pressing a button on a remote, eating fries, and juggling. But yet, somehow he’s botched it.

Maybe he shouldn’t get out of bed. For one thing, there’s not a lot to do that can’t be done outside of it.

More on this as it develops.