“I’m 30 and I still don’t know how to say words. I’m a colossal idiot. I never really felt I needed to say ‘coup’ out loud before. I am so sorry. For myself mostly”
That was a quote from someone who describes himself as ‘having gone through something traumatic’.
You never think it will happen to you. After going about your entire life speaking just the one language, you’ve realised that somehow, you do not know everything there is to know. Shocking! Can you even call yourself fluent in your CV anymore? Have you been lying to the world and to yourself this whole time? So many questions following one single moment. These were the thoughts that plagued one man following the events at the US Capitol last week.
The word ‘Coup’ was trending on every single social media platform. It was all over the news. Everyone was talking about it. It was inescapable, he surely had to wade into a discussion about it with someone, possibly everyone! And when he did he was met with the crushing realisation that he could not say the word.
The P. The damned P. There it was dangling at the end of the word, inviting him to include it in his pronunciation. The reaction he received took him by surprise. His peers barely acknowledged his gaping error, one quickly corrected him and proceeded with their discussion.
Yes, life moved on but from that point onwards all he could think of was that he was nearing 30 and still didn’t have a firm grasp on any language.
“Damn it, I’m such a god damn idiot, I said the P in coup”
His friends’ lack of reprimand only made it worse. He had to sit with the suspicion that they thought he was an ultra dunce.
At this stage there were a couple of routes he could take.
The first would be to deny his mistake. Listeners did not hear him properly. He said coup like a regular person saying regular things.
The second would be to carry on like it was no big deal. A herculean task and definitely the least likely scenario.
The third would be to pointedly say it correctly the next time he had the opportunity. This would create the notion that either he made a gaffe the first time or that he had quickly corrected himself.
Unfortunately for him a new challenge arose.
Coup D’etat. What the shit is he supposed to do with that apostrophe?
The Ipe Collection 