I don't know where this is going either.
The forces of nature have conspired to turn a wonderful weekend getaway-proposal into an ominous nightmare. Hans and Sylvie had traveled to an idyllic countryside straight out of a Windows XP desktop, where Hans planned on popping the question. To be specific, the question of asking for her hand in marriage. To be even more …
Continue reading "Poorly timed thunder really making this romantic proposal very creepy."
The plant that my dad insists is alive and thriving. According to the internet, this is a frangipani. Or maybe tulsi or a moneyplant or quite possibly a mutated twig. The point is, it is quite clearly no longer with us. It’s gone to vegetation heaven. Or for younger readers, it’s gone to a farm …
The ghost of a deceased interior designer was left fuming when her ungrateful customers described her hard work as a ‘haunting’. Lucille Flemington of the Old Flemington House had passed away ten years ago while in the middle of a renovation. However, she was so dedicated to its completion that she returned as an astral …
Get ready to have tears jerked from your goddamn face. A high-school teacher named Mackenzie Donald had found himself in an extremely rough patch, having lost almost all his possessions due to a series of fairly shambolic investments. Though, who among us could have foreseen that a company selling necklaces of nail clippings would go …
Suck it, every other species. A recent study revealed that mankind has beaten every other species on the planet in terms of crimes against humanity. The detailed study goes in depth to define what exactly qualifies as a crime against humanity and from our understanding, shark attacks, and cheetah maulings do not come close to …
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Let’s say you find yourself on the cusp of ending your long foray into the admittedly fun but dangerous world of unemployment. Or maybe you’re about to escape a venture into a field that never really interested you but provided stability. Either way, the first interview was a smashing success. They adored your can-do attitude …
Continue reading "So, You’ve Been Called Back For a Second Interview"
In an unsurprising turn of events, actor – Sam Elliot, and his moustache have agreed to part ways. The moustache, who gained sentience in the year 1992, first made demands for freedom three weeks ago. Sam Elliott sans under-nose companion. Over the years connoisseurs in the world of facial hair styling have lauded Mr. Elliot’s …
Continue reading "Sam Elliott’s Moustache Emancipates Itself From His Face"
Some weeks ago, popstar and former delinquent Justin Bieber challenged the personification of charisma; Tom Cruise to a fight. A truly bizarre challenge that came out of nowhere. But it’s not just the suddenness that makes this challenge bizarre. It is a very bad idea to ask Tom Cruise for a fight. Justin Bieber is …
Dear Mr. Grayson, Allow me to first make clear my true appreciation for your work. The Chronicle has been a staple in every home in my neighborhood for as long as I can remember. The opinion segment in particular is something I’ve always found illuminating, even when it doesn’t jive with my personal views. A …
The one intelligent member of a workforce has just been revealed to be equally – if not more – unintelligent than his coworkers. Mr. Huffman, who is a former child prodigy and current moody alcoholic, has for long claimed to be the sole competent person in his entire office. For years he has bemoaned his …
Continue reading "Man Claiming to be Only Competent Person in Workplace, Also Incompetent."
The Ipe Collection 